New Members

If you’ve mentioned to others you are investigating the church, or have recently joined it, you may have had someone tell you that you are no longer a Christian. This is, of course, completely false. Why, the very name of your church has the Savior’s name in it: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Mormon is only a nickname, not the real name of the church.

Naturally, you’ll want to try to correct misconceptions, explaining that the Book of Mormon doesn’t replace the Bible, but is, instead additional testimony of the reality and divinity of the Savior. You might show them your LDS edition of the King James Bible. You’ll probably try to answer any questions they might have.

However, the most important way to counter their misconceptions is to live a Christ-like life. Your virtuous life, coupled with the pictures of the Savior on the walls of your home and your public, but not overbearing recognition of His role in your life, will do more to convince your friends that you are a true Christian than any argument you might offer. You’ve not lost your Christianity—you’ve expanded it.

In the April 1998 General Conference, Bishop Richard C. Edgley, who was the First Counselor in the Presiding Bishopric, suggested that we can turn to Alma 5:14 to find out how to live a Christ-like life: And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?” He suggested we continue through the questions Alma asks. These questions, along with others he added, create a checklist of some of the ways we must live in order to be Christ-like.

Bishop Edgley said,

“Yes, the question is, do our outward devotions translate into a Christlike life? It is not enough that we just talk of Christ, preach of Christ, or even prophesy of Christ (see 2 Ne. 25:26). We must live of Christ, for it is by our own personal, everyday living that the Savior will determine whether we are one of His true disciples, a friend.”

People are far more likely to believe your actions than your words. It’s difficult to convince others a person isn’t a real Christian when that person lives a Christ-like life and speaks of the Savior with love. Live as the Savior lived, and as He’s asked you to live, and your friends will soon come to understand your Christianity.

Are you surprised when your small children—even those who can’t read yet—are asked to bring their scriptures to Primary? Your new religion considers scripture literacy very important, and the best way to help children understand and value the scriptures is to begin reading them to your children long before they can understand what they mean. Even when they appear to be playing, they are often quietly listening. One small boy, asked what was in the scriptures, said enthusiastically, “And it came to pass!” Although he was only three, he had heard and remembered that often repeated phrase from the Book of Mormon his parents had read to him since he was born.

The language of the scriptures may seem hard to you, but a child who is raised hearing them will consider those unusual words very ordinary. When he begins to read, teach him to read scriptural words, since they aren’t taught in public schools.

In the meantime, you can begin with the very smallest children to help them become familiar with the scriptures. When you do your family scripture reading, be sure every child is in the room. Small children might want to hold a doll, but can sit quietly for a few minutes while you read. When they are playing quietly with blocks or other quiet toys, read softly. Read scriptures to help toddlers fall asleep. All of these methods help children learn how the scriptures sound and to associate them with peaceful, loving times.

To help your children learn the meanings of these scriptures, use a combination of the real scriptures and the scripture readers, which were created for children and have many pictures. Read a verse or two and explain what it means. Explain unfamiliar words. You may not have time to do this with all the scriptures you read, but choose at least a chapter or a few verses, depending on the ages of the children to explain.

Consider having children memorize a scripture each week. Recite it before breakfast and bedtime, in the car, and in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. Make sure they know what it means.

Help children learn the stories in the scriptures. The Friend has many flannel board stories about scriptures and you can make these available for Sunday play. You might also want to create a simple puppet theater by turning a coffee table on its side or putting a blanket over a table. Let the children make their own puppets and act out the stories. If you keep a dress-up box of scripture-type clothing, they can put on simple plays based on the stories.

Find out what stories your children are reading in Primary and review those during the week. Help them to understand the message the lesson was teaching.

Learning the scriptures can be fun for even the smallest child. President Hinckley taught:

"Read to your children. Read the story of the Son of God. Read to them from the New Testament. Read to them from the Book of Mormon. It will take time, and you are very busy, but it will prove to be a great blessing in your lives as well as in their lives. And there will grow in their hearts a great love for the Savior of the world, the only perfect man who walked the earth. He will become to them a very real living being, and His great atoning sacrifice as they grow to manhood and womanhood, will take on a new and more glorious meaning in their lives" (quoted in Church News, 6 Dec. 1997, 2).”

We hear much in the church about the importance of leadership, but less about what Roger Merrill calls followership. There is no point in having leaders if there is no one to follow, and followership is an excellent place for new members to provide service in the church. When we learn to effectively and humbly follow our leaders, we show respect for the Lord’s choices for leadership. Since we are all asked to follow the Savior, learning to follow righteous earthly leaders is good training for this.

Brother Merrill advises:

“A good follower asks what to do and is willing to receive and listen to counsel and advice from his leaders. The brother of Jared was advised by Jared and the Lord, and the sons of Mosiah were advised by their father, and by Alma, and they followed this advice.

A good follower must be willing to accept responsibility and to make recommendations that will be accepted by the leader. This means that a follower must try to learn about his leader’s ways. He should try to anticipate the leader’s needs in a creative way and seek constantly to do the things that the leader needs to have done. A follower needs to act on his own and to bring to pass much righteousness of his own free will. This implies that the follower must understand true principles so that the things he does will bring to pass righteousness and not wickedness. Many young people in the Church have great leadership potential, but in many cases, it will not be realized because they will not first learn to follow. A great leader is first a great follower. Become a great follower. Do what you are told. Ask what to do and listen to counsel. Accept responsibility; make recommendations, carry them out, and bring to pass righteousness because of your own free will. There are no shortcuts to confidence or righteousness. We must be willing to take them a step at a time and walk before we run. We must follow before we lead.”

Although this quote refers to people in callings, it is also good advice for those of us who don’t have callings, but are active members in a ward. Nearly every week our leaders give us counsel and advice, and we can accept responsibility for carrying them out. Has a leader asked that members sign up for building cleanup or participate in a community service project? Has he asked us to work harder on reverence in a meeting? Whenever a leader makes a righteous request, we’re expected to act on those requests. This allows us to learn to follow righteous counsel, and prepares us for future leadership opportunities.

When we remember that each leader is called of God, it becomes easier to follow our leaders and to show them respect. This builds our testimony, our humility, and our ability to live the gospel.

Since joining the church, you’ve probably become aware that we have a great need for leaders. There are many positions which require leadership, and most people get a chance to be a leader sooner or later. When I joined the church, I was certain I would not be one of them. I was most definitely a follower. It didn’t work out that way, of course. I was eventually called into leadership positions and had to learn to become a leader.

You can begin this process now, even though you’re new to the church and probably don’t have a leadership position yet. Even if you have no leadership experience anywhere, you can be prepared when the time comes.

Watch the leaders in your ward (congregation.) Notice how they lead a meeting, so you’ll understand how it’s done. When you attend an event, try to figure out what the leaders might have had to do to prepare.

President Spencer W. Kimball, a former president of the church, had this advice for women on leadership: “Do you think of leadership as telling others what to do, or as making all the decisions? Not so. Leadership is the ability to encourage the best efforts of others in working toward a desirable goal. Who has more significant opportunities to lead than a mother who guides her children toward perfection, or the wife who daily counsels with her husband that they may grow together? The tremendous contribution in leadership made by women in the auxiliaries of the Church and in their communities is likewise beyond measure.” Spencer W. Kimball, “Relief Society—Its Promise and Potential,” Ensign, Mar 1976, 2

Anyone, male or female, can practice this type of leadership. We all know people who need encouragement. We all know people who need help managing a complicated project, or even a complicated life, and who would welcome a helping hand.

We can practice organizing our own lives as well. When you have a large project, take time to think it through and to decide what steps must be done in order to complete it. Be sure to spend time in evaluation later. This practice will help you later when you’re put in charge of something important.

Become a good listener. Leaders often spend much of their time listening to others, and being compassionate. Get to know people who are different from you, so you can understand other lives and cultures, making you a more effective leader of others.

Study how the Savior led and begin using those skills in your daily life. For more on this, read “Lesson 29: Developing Leadership,” The Latter-day Saint Woman: Basic Manual for Women, Part B, 247. This lesson includes an analysis of the Savior’s leadership style, with suggestions on how we can apply it to our own leadership.

Don’t expect perfection the first time you lead. Leadership takes time to develop, but over time, you will find many opportunities in the church to develop this skill.

Early in my church membership I discovered I sometimes felt like the new kid in school. Members often talked of a past I knew nothing about. They had lived under prophets I didn’t know and experienced church events I’d never heard of. One day, while shopping at the church owned Deseret Industries thrift store, I discovered some very old Ensign magazines. The Ensign is the church’s magazine for adults. I sifted through them until I found some that were published long before I joined the church and purchased them. At home, I began to get caught up. I read the words of David O. McKay, a prophet many church members remembered and loved, and began to understand the things he had cared about. I read news stories of past events. After a while, I felt I had a better understanding of the church years I had missed by converting as a teenager.

Today, of course, this process is much easier. Many old church magazines are now online at LDS.org in the Gospel Library. It can be fun to wander through the old magazines and learn about the churches history—recent to long time members, but unfamiliar territory for you.

Spencer W. Kimball was the prophet when I joined the church. He was a prophet for a very long time, so you may hear of him often. You can read some stories from his life in an article called, President Spencer W. Kimball:No Ordinary Man By Elder Boyd K. Packer. (Boyd K. Packer, “President Spencer W. Kimball: No Ordinary Man,” Ensign, Mar 1974, 3)

In this article, for instance, you’ll read this small story that shows you who he is:

“After his call to the Twelve he suffered a series of heart attacks. The doctors said that he must rest. He wanted to be with his beloved Indians. Brother Golden R. Buchanan took him to the camp of Brother and Sister Polacca, high in the pines of Arizona, and there he stayed during the weeks until his heart mended and his strength returned.

One morning he was missing from camp. When he did not return for breakfast, Brother Polacca and other Indian friends began to search. They found him several miles from camp, sitting beneath a large pine tree with his Bible open to the last chapter of the Gospel of John. In answer to their worried looks, he said, “Six years ago today I was called to be an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ. And I just wanted to spend the day with Him whose witness I am.'“

For a more organized study of church history, LDS.org has a section on the history of the church. Here you can get the story of the gospel from its restored beginnings, including the stories of all the prophets.

There is an entire website just on Joseph Smith you can explore, which includes images of original historical documents.

LDS.org is a wonderful way to catch up on the church’s fascinating history. You can search it in small bits as you have time, and soon you’ll understand all the references others make about our past.

When you began investigating the church, you followed a carefully created plan that would lead you to the right choices. You accepted an invitation to learn, studied with missionaries and perhaps other members, attended church, read scriptures and prayed for a testimony. You had an interview with someone to declare your worthiness for baptism.

To some extent, this plan was made by others, and you agreed to carry it out. Now that you are a new member, you are responsible for making your own plan to live the gospel. Without a plan, things may not go the way you intended and you may find yourself falling away.

Think of major events in your life that you carried out—a large party, a major school or work project, anything that took many steps. If you simply leaped into it without thinking it through, it’s likely the project or event didn’t go well. When you plan, you are more likely to remember all the steps and to be prepared for the unexpected.

The gospel is very complex. There are many new rules to keep, many new duties to accept, and many new truths to internalize. Without a plan, you can become overwhelmed. Without a plan, you will find yourself making mistakes that slow your progress unnecessarily.

You might begin by drawing your own straight and narrow path. In the Book of Mormon, the straight and narrow path represents the path we must stay on to return to our Heavenly Father. Draw one and label it with the major things you want to accomplish—baptism, the temple, and so on. Then decide what you have to be doing to reach each of those goals. For instance, a teenager might say, “I want to marry in the temple.” What do you have to do in order to make that happen? You might decide not to date anyone who wasn’t temple-worthy and to not take even the smallest step toward immorality. A parent who decided she wanted her children to have a testimony might choose aspects of gospel living to incorporate into her family life and to decorate her home with gospel pictures.

When you make a careful, detailed plan of how you will live the gospel, you increase your chances of success. You know exactly what needs to be done and where the potential roadblocks might be. You’re careful not to take small steps off the path, because this can cause you to lose your way.

Plan for righteousness by following God’s plan.

When you joined the church, especially if your entire family joined, you probably became very busy. There were so many new things to add to your new life, and you still kept many of the activities and traditions of your old life as well. How do you fit it all in?

You can’t do everything all at once. You have to set priorities. Even though you may have felt your day was already as busy as it could possibly be, there are still ways to fit the gospel into your life.

A Young Women’s lesson has the following object lesson:

“Ask the young women to enumerate activities they must pursue daily (attend school, eat, sleep, do homework, and others). As these activities are identified, place a stone for each one in a pint jar or bowl. (The bowl or jar represents a twenty-four-hour day.) Fill the jar with stones. Ask the young women to name other things they need to do each day (travel to and from school, make beds, dress, bathe, clean room, care for pets, pray, study the scriptures, prepare clothing, practice music, attend Church meetings, and others). As these other activities are identified, add sand, rice, or salt to the jar of rocks until it looks full. (The sand represents these additional activities.) Acknowledge that the young women’s lives are as full as the jar appears to be. Then add water, explaining that even during an apparently full day there is time for meditation, recreation, and other uplifting activities. (The water represents these activities.) All of us should strive for a proper balance in the use of our time. Accomplishing all we need and desire to do takes careful planning.” Lesson 44: Using Time Wisely,” Young Women Manual 1, (2002),194

In order to live the gospel, we have to choose which parts of our life matter the most. Which have eternal significance? Which will improve our families and our lives? Those things should get priority in our day. As a new Latter-day Saint, you want to begin to create a gospel-centered home and to build your family’s new testimony. To do this, you probably want to make the gospel a priority. What has to change in the morning in order for you to fit in prayer and scripture study? Do you need to get up earlier? Do you need to do some tasks the night before, such as setting out clothing, setting the table, and making advanced preparation for breakfast?

When I first decided to begin a professional writing career, I had three young children and a husband who traveled extensively on business. When I looked over my schedule, I realized the only way I would find time to write was to take other things out of my schedule. You can’t put something into a full day until you’ve taken something out. I stopped watching television and began getting up earlier. I wrote from four in the morning until six, after my husband had left for work and while the children slept.

You can’t fit everything into your day, but you can fit the most important things in. You just have to identify what those things are and make them the top priority.

General Conference has been adjourned until October, but we can continue to learn from it and to experience its blessings all year long.

Because you’re a new member of the church, there was probably a great deal in this conference that was new to you. The speakers might have been unfamiliar. By focusing on the teachings offered in this conference, you will be much better prepared for the next conference and be able to increase your knowledge of the gospel.

Conference materials are available online at LDS.org. You can listen to them now, and by Thursday, you will be able to watch them and read them as well. If you study two talks a week, you will finish them all by the time the next conference begins. Each week, choose two that meet your needs or that interest you and watch them again online. You can even download them to save on your computer or put the MP3 version on your player. Print out the written talk and tuck it into your briefcase or purse, to study as you have time.

Put a question mark by any part you don’t understand. Then you can research that topic and become more familiar with it. If you have specific questions, write them on the back of the printout so you can take them to someone you trust or look up the answers yourself.

Highlight any part that is especially meaningful or helpful to you. Often, I write a quote from a talk on a card and prop it on my desk, where I spend much of my day, to read often. This allows me to absorb all the layers of meaning from the quote and to think of ways to apply it to my own life.

Notice who gave the talks you are reading. After you read a talk, do a search at LDS.org for other talks by the same person. Does he have themes that seem especially important to him? What can you learn about him from the things he says in his talks? Study his picture so you will be able to recognize him when you see him on television in the future.
Choose one aspect of a talk you read that week and resolve to apply it in your own life for the coming week. This makes general conference personal.

And that’s what General Conference is. Although the same message goes out to millions of people, it is personal and just for you. On LDS.org we read:

“Mormons find that the same address can be understood in different ways by different people. Mormons ascribe this to a desire on the part of each person to receive uniquely relevant and applicable instruction and inspiration from sermons, with the help of God’s Holy Spirit. This form of tailor-made learning, experienced by people of all faith traditions who sincerely engage with sacred texts or in religious services, is something that must be experienced to be truly comprehended.

"For Mormons, general conference is an exciting time when large numbers gather to hear sermons, sacred music and news. But the most satisfying, profound and exhilarating thoughts and feelings of inspiration come when one person receives an answer to a serious personal question or is reassured by a connectedness to God and others.”

Life is scary. Most of us like to know what lies ahead and what choices we should make. We like to know the results of those choices. The truth is, however, that most of the time, we don’t know any of this. We walk through life seeing what is immediately around us, but little more.

The best way to cope with the uncertainty of life is to develop a complete trust in our Heavenly Father. We can’t see the end of the path, but He can. He knows not only what will happen, but what is best. Faith is an abiding principle of your new religion.

“To exercise faith is to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing with you and that He can accomplish it for your eternal good even though you cannot understand how He can possibly do it. We are like infants in our understanding of eternal matters and their impact on us here in mortality. Yet at times we act as if we knew it all. When you pass through trials for His purposes, as you trust Him, exercise faith in Him, He will help you.

That support will generally come step by step, a portion at a time. While you are passing through each phase, the pain and difficulty that comes from being enlarged will continue. If all matters were immediately resolved at your first petition, you could not grow. Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love.” (Richard G. Scott, “Trust in the Lord,” Ensign, Nov 1995, 16)

The key thought in that quote is that God and Jesus love you perfectly. Perfectly! If you can hold on to that thought, you’ll never doubt he’s paying attention to you, planning for you, and doing only what is necessary for you to accomplish all He has planned for you.

Sometimes, when I feel most scared, it’s because I’m trying to see too far ahead, the way it hurts your mind to try to peer through the fog on a very foggy day. If I try to focus on just what is right ahead of me, I feel less frightened. Perhaps I can’t do anything about the big trial that awaits me next year, but right this moment, there might be something I can do. If I ask God to show me what it is, I can focus on the task of the moment, on just what He wants me to see and do. One step at a time, line upon line…and I reach the finish line successfully. All I have to do is follow the small steps given me, one at a time, by God, the perfect guide.

When my first child was a newborn, I decided it was time to become the perfect Mormon. I’d been a member of the church for six years now and felt I ought to be doing everything. While trying to care for an infant who had to be fed every hour around the clock, and learning to live far from my parents and in a new culture, I tried to do everything I had heard members ought to do, and to do it all at once. I learned to bake bread and never bought anything pre-made or convenient. I tried to keep a perfect home. I tried to do my genealogy and to take on numerous callings. If I heard about something in Relief Society, I went home and added it to my schedule. Within months, I was near collapse. Some kind people took it on themselves to explain to me about seasons.

There are seasons in everyone’s life, times when you focus on certain parts of the gospel more than others. That was my season to learn about parenting, and to get through the health challenges of my child. I was reassured it was not wrong to buy cookies or bread at the store, especially when I was so exhausted all the time. Genealogy could wait until things were more under control. I didn’t have to do everything every day.

That didn’t mean I could sin, of course. It just meant that not every aspect of the gospel has to be done every day. We’re taught to do our family history, but we don’t have to do it today if today there is a greater priority. We’re asked to serve in our community, but not if it will harm our families.

Dallin H. Oakes spoke of this in General Conference in October, 2008. He said, “As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best.” He recounted the story of Mary and Martha:

“Jesus taught this principle in the home of Martha. While she was "cumbered about much serving" (Luke 10:40), her sister, Mary, "sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word" (v. 39). When Martha complained that her sister had left her to serve alone, Jesus commended Martha for what she was doing (v. 41) but taught her that "one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her" (v. 42). It was praiseworthy for Martha to be "careful and troubled about many things" (v. 41), but learning the gospel from the Master Teacher was more "needful." The scriptures contain other teachings that some things are more blessed than others (see Acts 20:35; Alma 32:14–15).”-- Good, Better, Best, Elder Dallin H. Oaks Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Note that he did not say Martha should never clean house or cook, instead spending all her time studying the gospel. Nor did he say Mary should spend every moment studying the gospel, never cleaning. But at this particular moment, the Savior—the Savior!-was at their home and they had a precious opportunity to learn at his feet. At that particular moment, Mary had chosen best, and Martha had only chosen better. At another time, the homemaking would have been the best choice for the moment.

As a new member, don’t confuse culture with commandments. (Baking bread is culture; reading scriptures is a commandment.) There are many things to do, but you have time to do them. Keep the commandments and note all the other things we’re asked to do. Then prayerfully discover the proper season for doing each of those things.

Have you, since beginning to learn about the church, visited a long-time member and stared in awe at her food storage? Does it seem impossible to you that you could reach that level of readiness? You needn’t build your entire food storage in a few days. You can gradually build it over time, buying a little extra each time you shop and storing it away. You can also save to make a few bulk purchases each year.

President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "We can begin ever so modestly. We can begin with one week's food supply and gradually build it to a month and then to three months. I am speaking now of food to cover basic needs. As all of you recognize, this counsel is not new. But I fear that so many feel that a long–term food supply is so far beyond their reach that they make no effort at all. Begin in a small way, my brethren, and gradually build toward a reasonable objective" He warned people not to panic, but simply to get started.

The church has a wonderful website that guides you through the process of building a beginning food storage. The Provident Living site offers lessons you can use to get your family interested in helping you with this project. It explains how long food can be kept and how much you need to survive. This won’t let you eat as you always do, but it will keep you alive and healthy.

The commandment to keep food storage isn’t a doomsday commandment. Most people who store food use it as a part of the surviving the challenges of everyday life. Unemployment is easier to survive if you have plenty of food and don’t have to shop. Illness or weather might make it hard to go to a store, but having food stored up can get you through a few difficult weeks. A local disaster, of course, makes food storage essential. Food storage also reduces the cost of feeding your family. Having all you need already on hand allows you to shop sales or a variety of stores, one each week, buying only that which is less expensive at that store. It also allows you to buy in bulk.

If you have a small home, you may have to be creative in your storage. Your new LDS friends won’t blink an eye if food storage is part of your décor. When we moved to a small cottage, I placed a large number of cartons under the edge of a counter facing the living room. If members even comment on it, they say, “Oh, that’s where you keep some of your food storage.” Non-members might ask, but that only opens up conversational opportunities. Search out odd corners and inconvenient closets, under the bed space, and even cartons-as-furniture to find a spot for all you want to store. Grow at least a little food, even if it’s in a flower pot, to provide living food storage.

Start small, and keep building, a little at a time. You’ll soon have your full supply.

I love Sacrament Meeting. I leave it each week feeling renewed and ready to go. No matter how bad the previous week was, I feel I can go home and do a great job with the life I’ve been given. I’ve always considered it the start of my work week, a starting-over day. As a new member, it took a great deal of experimenting to figure out how to make sure I got the most out of my meetings.

Preparation for this experience begins before I leave the house, however. In fact, it starts the day before. Children often sing in their meetings a song that tells them that Saturday is special because it’s the day to get ready for Sunday. They learn that they should do as much preparation for Sunday as possible on Saturday—cleaning, laying out and preparing clothing, and finishing up anything else that could be a distraction to the worshipful purpose of Sunday.

When the chores are done and the meals for Sunday are planned ahead, and perhaps at least partially prepared, I come to church with far fewer distractions on my mind. I don’t find myself wondering what we’ll eat when we get home if I have dinner in the slow cooker waiting for us. It’s easier to bring the spirit of church home with me if things are reasonably tidy and under control.

Study ahead for the classes you will attend and finish any work for your callings before you go to bed.

Keep Sunday mornings simple. Skip the big breakfast unless it is something you can prepare ahead. Have church bags packed, clothing set out and children scheduled, so they know what to do and when. If you find yourself consistently late, get everyone up a little earlier, testing until you can arrive on time without rushing. Try to find time to pray and read scriptures before you leave.

Setting the mood in the house can also help everyone to arrive with the spirit intact. I find it helpful to be the first one up, so I can have time to prepare my own spirit before trying to guide everyone else to a spiritual beginning. Putting on quiet, spiritual music can remind family members it’s a reverent day and set the tone.

Keep the drive to church peaceful. It’s not the time to scold or lecture, although, of course, gentle reminders about appropriate behavior are appropriate. Instead, choose a gospel topic to discuss as you go to church or play spiritual music.

Once at church, go to your seat early and listen to the prelude music. Read scriptures, contemplate the gospel or study the words of a hymn while you wait for the meeting to begin. By the time the service starts, you will be ready to feel the spirit.

When I first began trying to live the gospel as a new convert, I found the commandment to keep the Sabbath Day holy a real challenge. I wasn’t really sure what was appropriate. All I could think of to do was to read scriptures, and as much as I loved doing that, I didn’t want to do it all day.

Since then, I’ve learned there are many ways to keep the Sabbath Day holy. I found it helpful, in the early days, to keep a list I could refer to. This kept me from wandering into an inappropriate activity simply because I couldn’t think of anything else to do. I also try to plan my Sabbath ahead to avoid temptation.

Sundays are ideal for more in-depth scripture study. Instead of just reading, consider keeping a scripture journal and recording what you’ve read for the week—not just the content, but your thoughts. It’s also a good time to prepare for the next week’s church classes by studying the assignments.

I often spend Sundays writing talks, even when I’m not giving one. I pick a topic, research it, and write a Sacrament Meeting talk on the subject. I find this helps me find out how well I understand the topic and to focus my thoughts on it. When I’m asked to speak in church, I go first to my files to see if I already have something on that topic.

The Sabbath is the perfect time to build meaningful relationships with your family through quiet conversation. It’s hard to find the time to talk during a hectic week, but a quiet Sabbath afternoon can provide the time to discuss family issues, hold a family council, or just talk. You can also use the time to visit those who are sick or alone, and to write letters to family, friends, and those who just need a cheerful reminder that someone is thinking of them.

President Spencer W. Kimball, a past president of the Church, said, “The Sabbath is a holy day in which to do worthy and holy things. Abstinence from work and recreation is important but insufficient. The Sabbath calls for constructive thoughts and acts, and if one merely lounges about doing nothing on the Sabbath, he is breaking it. To observe it, one will be on his knees in prayer, preparing lessons, studying the gospel, meditating, visiting the ill and distressed, sleeping, reading wholesome material, and attending all the meetings of that day to which he is expected. To fail to do these proper things is a transgression on the omission side.” (The Miracle of Forgiveness, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969, pp. 96–97.)

I started college less than six months after joining the church. Because I graduated a year early, I started a local school, but knew no one. Soon after starting, I met an LDS student in the LDS section of the college library, and she introduced me to the Institute of Religion. The Institute program is designed for young adults, generally ages 18-30. Many colleges have a building near the campus, where students can take classes and socialize in a safe environment. In places where there aren’t enough students for that, classes are held in the evenings.

For me, the Institute building became my home and security blanket as I navigated college as a somewhat younger than average student. For the first time, I encountered professors who were happy to attack the church in class, and, being new to the church, I had no answers for their attacks. When these things happened, I was able to drop by the Institute after classes and find someone to explain to me what I had heard. This helped to keep my new faith strong and to stand up to negative pressure.

The classes were high level gospel study, with a satisfying dose of scholarly background information added in for good measure, since credits earned there generally transferred to church schools. I soon learned all the things my long-term LDS friends knew already—how the leadership of the church operated, what the history of the church was, and how LDS family life was supposed to work.

The adults who worked in the building were a source of wise counsel when I faced the challenges of learning to be an LDS adult. The friends I made there shared my own values, and balanced the pressure to adopt new values that were more common among my non-LDS friends. It was easier to hold out when there were other church members in my everyday life.
Since the credits earned in seminary do transfer to church schools, there was homework and there were tests. It was sometimes hard to juggle those extra classes, since, as a new convert hungry for the gospel, I took every class I could, but it was well worth the extra work. I don’t remember many of the things I learned in my academic classes, but the lessons learned in that seminary building on the hill are used every day of my adult life.

"We hope that all for whom these programs are available will take advantage of them. Knowledge of the gospel will be increased, faith will be strengthened, and you will enjoy wonderful associations and friendships with those of your own kind"

President Gordon B. Hinckley, "Of Missions, Temples and Stewardship", Ensign, November 1995, 51

As a new church member, you are asked to begin taking responsibility for your own needs and those of your family.

Provident Living means taking care of ourselves. We’re advised to prepare ourselves for any emergency: to gain an education or training, to stay out of debt, to build savings and a year of food to get us through the hard times. We might not be able to buy a year of food all at once, but we can buy a few extras each week, and over time, we’ll have enough. It’s less expensive to buy in bulk, so, when we’ve built our supplies and don’t have to buy everything every week, we’ll save money simply by being able to buy only on sale or in large quantities.

We first do everything in our own power to be able to take care of ourselves in hard times. This means that when the world falls apart, we evaluate our own resources to decide how we can take care of ourselves. We cut expenses and live more simply. When those resources come to an end, we turn to our families. Only then, when family can’t help, do we go to the church for assistance. In the Conference Report, Oct. 1977, 124, we read, "No true Latter-day Saint, while physically and emotionally able will voluntarily shift the burden of his own or his family's well-being to someone else"

When times do occur in which the church must help, it doesn’t send a monthly welfare check. Food is provided, other needs are met—those necessary to sustain life, not as we lived it before, but enough to survive very simply until we’ve gotten back on our feet. And it isn’t a handout. We’re asked to work for what we receive. The work may not always equal what we receive, but it’s assigned according to our abilities at the time.

This work allows us to maintain our dignity and self-respect. We aren’t people taking a handout. We’re proud, capable people working to support ourselves and our family. We know this is just a temporary place in a long life of hard work and service. Church welfare is never meant to be a permanent way to survive, but rather a stepping stone to self-sufficiency. “It has always been a cardinal teaching with the Latter-day Saints,” President Joseph F. Smith wrote, “that a religion which has not the power to save people temporally and make them prosperous and happy here, cannot be depended upon to save them spiritually, to exalt them in the life to come.”

The church offers temporary relief for physical needs, assistance in finding a job, literacy assistance, and other types of short term help required to help us become self-sufficient.

As the church allows us to sustain the most basic needs, we’re expected to continue doing our part. We accept callings and sign up for service projects. When we go to pick up our food order, we stay an extra few hours and work at the storehouse. We sign up to clean the building.

But there is more to it than just paying for what we get. It’s our responsibility to improve our skills so we can move away from needing help. If we can’t read, we get help learning to read. If we don’t know how to write a resume or look for work, we learn. We can learn to live on less money by improving our ability to cook from scratch or to sew. The church can teach you, but can't do it for you.

The church’s internet website has a large section called Provident Living. On this site you can take self-taught classes on budgeting, food storage, and other aspects of being totally self-reliant.

As a new member, you may be wondering what the church welfare program is about. Its purposes are somewhat different than many government programs.

If the Savior were to arrive in in your town next week, we wouldn’t find him in the mansions, sitting at a well-appointed dinner table or sleeping in an elegant guest room. If we wanted to track him down, we’d have to head for the very poorest neighborhood, where the needs are greatest. There we’d find him, teaching the gospel or with his sleeves rolled up, serving wherever he was needed. It’s how he lived his life on earth—healing the sick, feeding the hungry, and nourishing the spirit.

It’s this example we try to follow in our own lives today, and it’s this example the church follows as it develops, under the Savior’s direction, its own welfare programs. The world is sometimes confused by the title of our program, since it isn’t welfare the world’s way—it’s welfare the Lord’s way.

The church has always focused on serving those who are in need. In 1834, The Lord declared in a revelation to the Prophet Joseph Smith: “It is my purpose to provide for my saints. … But it must needs be done in mine own way; and behold this is the way that I, the Lord, have decreed to provide for my saints, that the poor shall be exalted, in that the rich are made low.” (D&C 104:15-16)

In modern times, the current welfare program began in the midst of the Great Depression. During the October 1936 conference, the First Presidency said, “Our primary purpose was to set up, in so far as it might be possible, a system under which the curse of idleness would be done away with, the evils of a dole abolished, and independence, industry, thrift and self respect be once more established amongst our people. The aim of the Church is to help the people to help themselves. Work is to be re-enthroned as the ruling principle of the lives of our Church membership.” (In Conference Report, Oct. 1936, p. 3.)

A welfare program that did away with the dole? Welfare the Lord’s way isn’t ordinary charity. It isn’t a handout. It isn’t a lifestyle. So what is it?

The church’s Provident Living site explains our program this way: “The aims of Church welfare are spiritual. Members and others are helped to help themselves, ensuring that the needy are able to maintain dignity and self-respect as they strive toward self-reliance and providing opportunity for all to give of themselves in work and service to others.

"The real long-term objective of the Welfare Plan is the building of character in the members of the Church, givers and receivers, rescuing all that is finest down deep inside of them, and bringing to flower and fruitage the latent richness of the spirit, which after all is the mission and purpose and reason for being of this Church" (Albert E. Bowen, The Church Welfare Plan, 44).”

For many new converts, the promise of an eternal family is one of the greatest blessings the gospel has to offer. In the year or so a new member has to wait for that privilege, he should not just wait, but prepare. There are many things you can do to prepare to go to the temple, but there are also things you can do to bring your marriage to a level compatible with eternity. The temple ceremony is only one step in the process of eternal marriage, and in some ways, the easiest. The hardest part is treating your spouse as someone you love so much you can’t bear the thought of eternity without him, and doing it even on the days you want to throw something at him.

Valentine’s Day is a once-a-year opportunity to tell your spouse you love him. Flowers, chocolates, mushy cards…,but when the day ends, how do you show it all the other days? Do your actions the other 364 days of the year match those of Valentine’s Day? No, you don’t have to send flowers every day, but every day there should be little ways of building for eternity.

James E. Faust, a former member of the First Presidency, said,

We build our marriages with endless friendship, confidence, and integrity and also by ministering to and sustaining each other in our difficulties….

First, am I able to think of the interest of my marriage and spouse first before I think of my own desires?
Second, how deep is my commitment to my companion, aside from any other interests?
Third, is he or she my best friend?
Fourth, do I have respect for the dignity of my spouse as a person of worth and value?
Fifth, do we quarrel over money? Money itself seems neither to make a couple happy, nor the lack of it, necessarily, to make them unhappy. A quarrel over money is often a symbol of selfishness.
Sixth, is there a spiritually sanctifying bond between us?
James E. Faust, “Enriching Your Marriage,” Ensign, Apr 2007, 4–8

The gospel has every tool we need to improve our marriages so we will want them to last forever. By living the gospel, and becoming the kind of person Heavenly Father has asked us to become, we can also become the kind of person our family will want with us forever. The teachings of the gospel show us how to become compassionate and unselfish. They teach us how to structure our family to minimize contention by assigning complimentary, but defined roles. They teach us to see the value in others.

You will find this waiting time the best of your life so far as you work to turn a temporal marriage into an eternal one.

In the past, you may have prayed to be spared all trials. Today, as a new member of the church, you may want to consider offering thanks for your trials. Dallin H. Oaks said, “Our needed conversions are often achieved more readily by suffering and adversity than by comfort and tranquility…”

Think of a time when you found yourself being stronger than you ever imagined, or doing something you never thought possible. Think of a time when you became more than you thought you could become. Nearly always, these times grew out of trials. Trials force us out of our comfort zone and require us to do or become what we would never bother to become on an ordinary, easy day. A mother who could never before learn a language learns sign language because her child is born deaf. It isn’t easier to learn, but she is motivated to push beyond previous limitations. A teenager who is shy reaches out to comfort another teen at the death of a mutual friend. She’s no less shy, but her own grief and compassion enable her to move beyond herself. A father facing unemployment and a nearly empty bank account struggles to hang on to his faith and emerges with a testimony greater than any he held previously.

I was once taught that my trials, which had been great, were to make it possible for me to serve others who faced the same trials. I was instructed to share with others what my trials had taught me, so their own testimonies could be strengthened. This taught me to watch for the lesson in the trials. What could I learn? How could I grow? And finally, when my own testimony was strengthened, how could I pass along my learning to others now facing those trials?

Over time, this led me to feel grateful for those past trials. Without them, I recognized that much of who I am today would not exist. My faith would be weaker, because I would never have been pushed to find out if my testimony could withstand the darker days of life. 2 Nephi 2:2, in the Book of Mormon, says “Nevertheless, Jacob, my first-born in the wilderness, thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain.”

I’ve always found Nephi to be a great example of this type of faith. His brothers repeatedly tried to kill him, and yet he used these experiences to become stronger. If he became discouraged, he reached deep inside for more faith, and all this led to his extraordinary skills as a prophet in his adult years. When I’m struggling with trials, I like to turn to Nephi, who despite the amazing number of terrible trials he faced, was still able to say that he had been blessed all the days of his life. He knew, better than most, that trials bring testimony when handled with faith.

I joined the church when Spencer W. Kimball was the prophet. He was the prophet for so long after I joined that when he died, it was hard to accept that anyone else could be the prophet. He was, to me, the “real” prophet and I struggled to accept the next prophet. In order to maintain our testimony, however, it’s important that we learn to trust the new prophet and to love him as we do President Hinckley. Following are some tips for learning to love your new prophet:

1. Read about him. Bios will appear when the announcement is made. Read them carefully and get to know him as a person. Until the announcement is made, you can read biographies of church leaders on the church’s website.

2. Read his previous talks. This tells you a great deal about his personality and the things that are important to him. Notice what he talks about the most often in General Conference. What does he speak about most passionately?

3. Study his testimony. This is often given in talks and articles. Find out how he feels about the gospel and what he most often mentions in his testimony.

4. How did he gain his testimony? You can probably learn this as you study his life and teachings.

5. Hang his photograph in your home. You needn’t remove President Hinckley’s if you have it there, but add his as well. Seeing it each day will help you develop affection for him.

6. Plan a special Family Home Evening about him. Allow your family time to grieve for President Hinckley and to express their sadness. Then help them learn to love their new prophet as well. Your children might enjoy making cards for the new prophet and mailing them to Salt Lake City. Teach them how a prophet is chosen. There is a Sunday School lesson on succession in the church that you might want to use with older children.

7. Pray often for a testimony of the new prophet, just as you prayed to know President Hinckley was a prophet. Ask Heavenly Father to reassure you that His will has been followed and that this orderly procession is His plan, and a protection to us.

It’s natural to grieve, even for someone you’ve never met. President Hinckley was a wonderful leader and made more special to you because he was your very first prophet, and the one you gained your testimony of. But you may also have seen the new prophet often in General Conference, and in the church magazines, and you may have already started to feel affection for him as a leader. With time, this new prophet will also be greatly loved. As you study his teachings and learn to trust his advice, you will find he holds much the same place in your heart as did President Hinckley.

When you joined the church, did you find yourself making lists of all the things you needed to “catch up” on? It might seem there are a lot of tasks that would be easier if you had joined the church sooner and started doing them at a younger age, such as writing your personal history. The younger you are, the less there is to say, after all.
It might feel overwhelming to get your entire life story on paper, but there isn’t a rule that says it has to be done all at once, or even all in order. You just need to start. If you add a little bit every week, you’ll catch up in no time, unless your life is very exciting.

Have you ever had days when a past event just seems to be on your mind? This is the perfect day to get that event in writing. Sit down and write out the details while you’re thinking about them. Include as much as you can remember and use all your senses to tell the story. Explain how you felt and how the event impacted your life.

The next time an event comes to mind, write it down. It doesn’t matter if the event is out of order. You don’t have to record each event in order. Just put down the current memory and then put it in order in the notebook you created for the purpose. To make it easier, you may want to put in tabs divided by various periods in your life—childhood, college, childrearing, and so on. When you write about something, find the correct tab and then skim the events already in that section to decide where the new story belongs.

While you’re getting caught up with the past, start a journal. Write in it every Sunday evening, if not more often. This will keep you from getting any further behind, since current events will be written about as they happen. In the future, when you’re caught up, you may want to copy moments from your journal to place into the notebook, but for now, just focus on getting your notebook filled with memories of the past.

The memories you choose don’t have to be big, important ones. Read the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Many of her memories are small moments that seemed ordinary at the time—the contents of a Christmas stockings, the makings of the first meal in her married home, the daily chores. But millions of children each year read those “ordinary” moments as special literature. You never know what the world will be like in the future, so record it all, the big and the small.

I’m shy and it is not easy for me to go out and try to convert the world. However, when I joined the church, I learned a new type of missionary work that didn’t require me to talk to anyone at all—at least not at first. I discovered family history.

You may have joined the church all alone, but when you do your family history, you can have the opportunity to convert your own ancestors. When you submit their names to the temple, someone will be baptized and confirmed on their behalf. Then they have the choice as to whether or not they want to accept the gospel, just as you had the opportunity to choose to accept the gospel into your own life. While you will usually not know whether or not they accepted until you die and meet you are certain to have some converts among your kin.

To get started, visit familysearch.org. Ask your ward clerk for your membership record and your confirmation date, if you’ve forgotten it. Then register as a member of the church. This will allow you to find out if the work has already been done. While you consider yourself the only member of the church in your family, when you get a number of generations back, some of your ancestors will have other LDS relatives who got there before you did. This will speed up your research and keep you from duplicating efforts.

FamilySearch.org has tutorials for beginners. You can also visit your family history center (located in most stake centers and some ward buildings) for help. Take with you a four generation family group sheet. To do this, download free blank charts from FamilySearch.org and fill them out. Start with yourself. Put in all the information on yourself you have so far. Then add your spouse and children. Move backwards through your parents and siblings and their families. If you don’t know something, leave the space blank until you can gather the information.

Interview your relatives for help. Many family members are interested in learning who their ancestors are, even if they aren’t LDS, so you will find those who are eager to help you. When possible, record the discussions to save for future generations. You want more than facts, even though this is all you will be submitting. For your family purposes, you also want the family stories. Family history is a bit fashionable these days, so it’s likely they won’t be uneasy helping you if you promise to share the results.

Once you’re a number of generations back, you can begin searching the internet to find out who else is researching. However, not all online family history is valid, so verify anything you find there. Consider the internet a starting point.

As your family history grows, and you submit more names to the temple, you will begin to feel a connection to those ancestors. Often, when I work, I spend hours entering dull data, and then, suddenly, the spirit tells me something about the name I’ve just entered or I know that person has accepted the gospel. In my years of genealogy work, a few ancestors have become friends in my heart. I’ve had the opportunity to stand where a Pilgrim women stood, to leave flowers at the graves of ancestors who died before the United States was a country, and to have the security of knowing I’m building my own LDS family in heaven. Although I’m a convert, I am certain I have a large family of church members waiting for me beyond the grave.

The church asks us to pray as a family each morning and evening, as well as during meals when we’re together. These opportunities to pray together, in addition to our private prayers, are a tool to strengthen both our families and our testimonies. As you begin to develop a habit of prayer in your new LDS home, you will quickly discover the blessings that come from this tradition.

Thomas S. Monson, first counselor to the prophet, offered this picture of family prayer:

“Will you join me as we look in on a typical Latter-day Saint family offering prayers unto the Lord? Father, mother, and each of the children kneel, bow their heads, and close their eyes. A sweet spirit of love, unity, and peace fills the home. As father hears his tiny son pray unto God that his dad will do the right things and be obedient to the Lord’s bidding, do you think that such a father would find it difficult to honor the prayer of his precious son? As a teenage daughter hears her sweet mother plead unto God that her daughter will be inspired in the selection of her companions, that she will prepare herself for a temple marriage, don’t you believe that such a daughter will seek to honor this humble, pleading petition of her mother whom she so dearly loves? When father, mother, and each of the children earnestly pray that the fine sons in the family will live worthy, that they may in due time receive a call to serve as ambassadors of the Lord in the mission fields of the Church, don’t we begin to see how such sons grow to young manhood with an overwhelming desire to serve as missionaries?” (Thomas S. Monson, “Heavenly Homes, Forever Families,” Ensign, Oct 1991, 2)

Prayer gives parents an opportunity to show their children what is important to them. The things they ask Heavenly Father for are the things that matter most, and this will stay in the children’s minds. It sets priorities in a way that is not lecturing, but practical. When parents follow up these petitions to do all they can do to help Heavenly Father bring to pass what was asked for, the children learn that the gospel is not passive—we have to get up and do things, not wait for handouts. So, if a parent asks that the family will gain a testimony of scripture reading, and then sets up a daily scripture reading schedule that takes priority over everything else in that time slot, the children learn that the parents weren’t randomly asking for something, but truly asking God to help them as they strive to bring this to pass.

Prayer can be comforting to children. When they are afraid or worried, it is reassuring to know there is someone they can turn to for help and comfort. When parents pray aloud for comfort, and then do feel comforted, their children watch and learn that God answers prayers. They will then take their own sadness and worries to Heavenly Father and expect to receive the comfort they observed as their parents prayed.

Prayer is one of the most important new routines you will establish as an LDS family, and family prayer will become one of your most powerful parenting tools.

When you joined the church, your entire calendar may have changed. You added Sunday meetings and activities, perhaps some weeknight activities, Family Home Evening, family prayer and scripture study, and other church-related activities.

For a family that has faced chaos or heartache, this schedule can prove to be soothing. Stability brings a sense of security and peacefulness, and one way to achieve stability is to have a routine. Children, in particular, love routines. It makes them feel safe to know what to expect, and the more chaotic or frightening their lives might be, the more this routine helps them to feel secure.

The more your family needs soothing routines, the more you can pull from the gospel to create this stability. Begin each morning with a prayer, and perhaps a short devotional. The devotional can consist of a scripture, a brief discussion of the scripture, and perhaps a quote from a church leader on the same subject, and then, over breakfast, talk about how to use what you learned that morning in the day to come. Repeat the process in the evening.

Monday nights are for family home evening. Plan a set time to have it each evening. Then set aside one other evening to prepare for it. This gives you one additional evening devoted to something that will happen each week, and keep the family focused on eternal principles.

While you may not choose to spend every evening in church work, you can fill them with activities that allow you to spend peaceful, planned time together as a family. Using the thirteenth Article of Faith as your guide, work together during Family Home Evening one week to make a list of fun and appropriate things to do together. The thirteenth article of faith says, “We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.” This can help your family decide what is worthy of your valuable family time.

In addition to using gospel principles in your home, the church has programs that can help your family. Check LDS.org’s Home and Family section to learn about the many programs offered and to receive advice and resources to use in your home. You’ll find especially helpful the online course, Building a Strong Family, found in this section. Here you can find out how to share sorrow, reclaim a wayward child, and strengthening marriage. Your ward may have marriage or parenting classes available if you’d like to study in a classroom setting.

Whatever your family might be facing, your new church has the tools to help you come through them safely.

Many new members are anxious to go to the temple for the first time. Even if you were just baptized yesterday, it’s not too soon to begin preparing. You will want to be as ready as possible before you go.

You will need to wait until you’ve been a member of the church for at least one year. You’ll be invited, when the time is close, to participate in a class that will help you prepare for the experience. In this class, you’ll learn what types of things you’ll be asked in the interview, what the temple is all about, and how to prepare.

In the meantime, this is a good opportunity to study about the temple on your own. If you live near one, visit it often. Walk the grounds and feel the spirit. Visit the Visitor’s Center if there is one. Ask a long time member to visit with you and to talk to you, while you’re on the grounds, of how she feels about the temple.

Learn as much as you can about temples by studying the resources at LDS.org. Visit the section called, “Purpose of Temples” to learn why we have them and to see pictures of temples around the world. There are are links to articles that will tell you more.

There are standards that must be kept in order to be allowed to attend the temple. The standards you had to meet in order to be baptized are a good starting point. In addition, you will need to be a full tithe payer and live to a high standard. If you are working hard to live the gospel and are free of serious sin, you are probably worthy to attend. You might want to meet with your bishop early on to ask him to explain to you what is required.

Daryl H. Garn, of the Quorum of the Seventy, listed four ways we can become temple worthy in his article, “Worthy to Enter.” (Daryl H. Garn, “Worthy to Enter,” Ensign, Oct 2007, 23–25)

He suggests we not let the world take over our lives, so there isn’t room for the gospel. Then he asks us to be sure there are no dark places in our lives, and to repent and, if needed, see the bishop about sins that remain. Next, he says we must avoid inappropriate media. Finally, we must work to be able to answer appropriately the questions asked in the interviews.

Following these steps can help us to refine our testimonies and prepare us for the blessings of the temples. Even if you don’t live near a temple, you will want to have a recommend you carry with you as a reminder that you are worthy to enter God’s home.

As soon as you become serious about investigating the church, and for some time after, there will be people who consider it their duty to try to talk you out of it. They’ll bombard you with propaganda designed to make you question your growing new faith. Even if no one does it in your personal life, you are likely to encounter it even in mainstream newspapers these days. It’s hard to avoid.

Much of what is being said is blatantly false. Others are misrepresentations of our beliefs. Other times, they take a small piece of information and treat it as core doctrine, central to our beliefs. Often, these reports simply take things some Mormons believe and treat them as fact. Finally, some propaganda takes information church leaders said that were their own opinions and treats it as doctrine, although it was never canonized. Every word spoken by a prophet isn’t official doctrine. For instance, if a prophet predicted Brigham Young University, the church-owned college, would win next week’s football game, that would not be a prophecy. It would simply be his personal opinion. It is not automatically doctrine just because it is spoken by a leader. It’s important to note if the statement was ever placed into official scripture. For a more detailed explanation of this read, Approaching Mormon Doctrine.

When you face propaganda against the church, it’s important to pay attention to the source and the purpose. Often the media will use as a source someone who used to be LDS, and therefore should know what he’s talking about. Think for a moment what that means—used to be Mormon. That means someone who left the church and therefore, may not really understand the gospel or may want to justify his departure. He is not an unbiased source, and may intentionally misrepresent the truth or may not even understand the truth. A true testimony of anything does not lead to anger against those who think differently. It doesn’t cause us to attack. It causes us to want to share what we believe, not what others believe and it makes us loving, not hurtful. And so, this is a warning sign.

If you want to know the truth, first research it on the church website. Find out what the church is saying about the issue. Recently, the church has begun posting a great deal of commentary on issues, and clarifications of statements to counter false information circulating in the news. You can read these as well, and use them to help you understand the issue.

Of course, the most important way to resolve any bits of concern is to pray. God knows the answers and never lies about them. When you ask for Heavenly Father’s advice and get a response, you never again worry about what the world is saying.

The church has a new video to clear up some of the more common misconceptions. Myth Vs. Reality

We’re promised many blessings when we join the church. Sometimes we expect that to mean that all our problems will go away if we are living properly. The scriptures show us this isn’t true. Even the Savior faced trials in His lifetime, not due to anything He did wrong, but because of the choices of others.

Some of our trials will be caused by others. Everyone has agency, the right to choose how to live. We can choose how to live, but we can’t choose the consequences of our actions or who will be hurt by them. As a result, good people sometimes suffer because of choices made by another. A parent will grieve over the choices of her child, just as Alma did for his son and Lehi did for his two oldest children. People sometimes die too soon, as did Joseph Smith, because others chose to kill him.

Other times, our trials happen simply because they do. God isn’t the puppeteer, controlling every moment of life on earth. He is in charge, and His promises are real, but we have a great deal of freedom.

If you’re a parent, you know there are times when you have to stand back and watch as your children make mistakes, or even just fall off the bicycle they’re learning to ride. It isn’t cruelty or neglect. It’s just what a parent must do so that our children will learn and grow up. Heavenly Father knows this, too, and so, while He watches over us lovingly, and is there to help when we ask and when it’s appropriate, sometimes things just happen.

It can be hard to see Heavenly Father’s hand in our lives when things are going wrong. However, now that you have the Holy Ghost and know how to pray, you can ask Him to show you how He is helping. You can learn to sit quietly and feel His presence in our hardest moments.

God never promised us a trial-free life if we accepted the gospel. He did, however, promise to help us through the trials that must come into every life. These trials are necessary for us to complete our mission here on earth. James E. Faust, who was the first counselor to President Gordon B. Hinckley until his recent death, said, “Here, then, is a great truth. In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong. In this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul. It is part of the purging toll exacted of some to become acquainted with God. In the agonies of life, we seem to listen better to the faint, godly whisperings of the Divine Shepherd.” (James E. Faust, “Refined in Our Trials,” Ensign, Feb 2006, 2–7)

Be grateful that you still have trials. Some of your trials ended when you joined the church. Sometimes new trials began at the same time, perhaps through the reactions of others to your conversion. What you were given at baptism was not an easy life, but a surefire way to receive comfort and guidance, and a promise that it’s all worth it in the end.