New Members

One of the things that might change when you join the church is how you date. Ask your leaders for a copy of “For the Strength of Youth,” a pamphlet that teaches LDS youth standards that will keep them safe as they work toward adulthood.

LDS teens are asked to avoid dating until they are sixteen years old. This might seem quite old to you, but it is a guideline for your own protection. There are strict limits to the type of relationship allowed prior to marriage, and the sooner you start to date, the faster you find yourself moving through the allowable limits. Starting to date at an older age, and then following the church’s instructions to date a variety of boys or girls rather than pairing off in the teenaged years, allows you to meet more people. As you get to know the opposite gender as friends, rather than as romantic interests, you will better understand them. You’ll be able to make objective decisions about the type of person you want to marry in the future. Double-dating or informal group dating helps to avoid temptations and to keep the relationship from becoming too serious.

It is wise to date only people who share your religion, and who are faithful members. While you may feel you are too young to worry about marriage, you don’t marry people you don’t date. You never know when you’ll unexpectedly find yourself attracted to someone who had previously just been a friend. Dating someone who cannot enter the temple when the time comes is very risky. Eternity is a very long time, and when you love someone enough to marry him or her, you will find your heart aching if you know that person might not be with you then.

Know the moral standards of the church and live them. In fact, raise the bar and live them higher than you need to. Don’t push the boundaries. Save your kisses for only the most special people you date. Don’t allow yourself to spend time alone or in situations that might encourage immorality, such as parties where kissing is the main form of entertainment.
Attend church with the teens you find yourself interested in, and participate together in church activities. Have these people into your home and go to theirs. Trust your parents’ instincts. While they might seem too old to understand, they have seen many situations that have played out in the long run. Over the years, they’ve learned that what seemed to be great in a date didn’t always turn out to be great in a relationship. Listen to what they have to say.

There is nothing in life’s rule book that says you have to date at all as a teenager. Many teens are happier hanging out in groups and having lots of friends. There are many years ahead for dating and relationships, but the teen years are wonderful for simple, uncomplicated friendships.

You’re probably already familiar with your ward, a local congregation, but you may be curious about stakes. A stake is a group of wards in one area, being made up of five to ten wards. Just as a ward is led by a bishop and two counselors, a stake is lead by a stake president and two counselors. They oversee the larger operation of the geographical area. The stake president is called by general authorities. He calls and trains the bishops, providing an unbroken priesthood authority. He advises the bishops and safeguards the standards and programs of the church, to be certain all wards are operating under church guidelines. The Lord has wisely built protections into his church, so no small group can wander off in its own directions.

Each ward auxiliary also has a corresponding stake organization. The Stake Primary presidency, for instance, watches over the ward Primary, providing larger scale activities, such as a day for young girls to meet together once a year with all the other girls their own age within the stake. They also provide training and counseling to the ward leaders of the organization.

One building in each stake is designated as the stake center. The stake presidency has its offices there. It’s generally a bit larger than regular chapels and often has a family history center located in it.

Once a month, a representative of the stake high council, a group of twelve priesthood holders who serve under the stake president, will speak in your ward on a topic chosen by the stake leaders. Each of these leaders is also assigned a ward to watch over. He attends their ward often and gets to know the leaders, serving as an advisor in making sure the programs are properly administered and that the leaders have someone they can turn to for help and advice.

In addition, stake conferences are held regularly, where all members of the stake gather together for special services. These services often address larger issues stake-wide, topics the stake would like to bring to the attention of the wards. For instance, a stake presidency might decide to focus on missionary work, so they would choose that as the theme for the conference and provide encouragement and guidance in that topic. Generally there will be an adult session of conference on Saturday night, and then a two hour general session for all members on Sunday morning.

When you’re ready to receive your temple recommend, a member of the high council will interview you, in addition to the bishop. This provides an additional level of security, in seeing that the temple is attended only by those who are worthy.