New Members

There is a wonderful lesson taught to the four to eight year old children in Primary (the children’s auxiliary) about Heavenly Father. They are told the story of a prince who was kidnapped by bad men who tried to force him to be immoral. He withstood all pressure and temptation. After six months of failed attempts to corrupt the young prince, they asked him why he wouldn’t give in. He answered, “I cannot do what you ask, because I am the son of a king, and my father has taught me to do what is right. I was born to be a king.” The children are then taught that they too are the son or daughter of a king, the greatest king of all, their Heavenly Father, who trusts them to do what is right.

How does it make you feel to know that you are God’s child, and that He trusts you? Even on those days when you may not live up to that trust, He goes right on trusting you to do better in the future.

Think of some of the ways God has demonstrated His trust in you. First, He welcomed you into His church. He allowed you to take upon yourself the name of His Son, Jesus Christ. What a sacred responsibility it is to take on His name and to help to represent Him. As a new member of the church, you are just beginning to understand what it means to take the Savior's name upon yourself, and yet He didn’t say, “Well, wait a few years until I decide if you’re going to be someone I want wearing the name of the Savior.” Instead, He allowed you to tell those in authority that you were trustworthy and then He trusted you to go ahead and begin to represent Him while you are still learning.

You may have been given a calling. A calling is a clear sign of God’s trust in you. He is trusting you with a small corner of His church, to care for and to build. The gospel matters to Him. Do you think it demonstrates a powerful trust to let you have responsibility over even the smallest part of it? It does.

If you have or will receive the priesthood, you are being given a very sacred trust. Elder Stanley G. Ellis of the First Quorum of the Seventy said, on the subject of the priesthood:

Brethren, think of what the Lord has given us—His power and authority! The power and authority to act for Him in all things pertaining to His work!

With this priesthood power and, when necessary, the authorization of those with appropriate keys, we can perform the ordinances of salvation in His name: baptize for the remission of sins, confirm and confer the Holy Ghost, confer the priesthood and ordain others to priesthood offices, and perform temple ordinances. In His name we can administer His Church. In His name we can bless, home teach, and even heal the sick.

What a trust the Lord has placed in us! Think of it, brethren. He trusts us!

Our Heavenly Father’s trust in us is a magnificent gift. It’s our responsibility to prove ourselves worthy of His trust. As we prove our worthiness, He will trust us more and more, until He trusts us to enter into His kingdom. It’s a gift worth working for.

As you meet with the missionaries, you will probably be asked to do a variety of reading assignments. If you’re unable to read, or to read well enough, these may make you feel uncomfortable. If you are using a screen reader to read this article because of literacy needs, you may already have found you can’t read the Book of Mormon or Bible reading assignments.

Let your missionaries know you can’t read. Don't keep this a secret from them, even if you've worked hard to keep it a secret from everyone else. They can help you with the assignments so you are able to hear the scriptures read. The scriptures are also available in auditory form online. Then ask the missionaries to tell you about the Relief Society Literacy effort.

The literacy effort was introduced in 1992. It’s an exciting 18-month program that will teach you how to read and write by using the scriptures. This is an inspired method. We are promised that when we read the scriptures, the spirit will be with us in extra measure to help us understand them. So, when you’re learning to read by reading scriptures, you also have that extra measure to help you learn to read.

There is no cost for the program, but it requires a strong commitment on your part. Classes are held twice a week and you must study at home every day as well. Once you are baptized and are assigned home or visiting teachers, they will be asked to help and encourage you as well. For instance, they might help you with a homework assignment during visits. If your family can read, they too are asked to assist you. You don't have to be a member of the church to participate, but you will be learning scriptures and religion as you learn to read.

Students learn to read by learning words from the scripture, allowing them, at the end of the very first day, to read a short sentence from the scriptures. They also keep a journal. If they can’t write, the teacher writes what they dictate, but once students learn a few letters, they write the letters they know and the teacher writes the rest. Students may also request help learning words they need to know, such as the names of family members.

You may have spent your life hiding your inability to read. Your teachers will not look down on you because you can’t read. They will, instead, be excited and proud that you’ve taken the important step of asking for help. They will work patiently with you until you’re successful. Once you know how to read, a whole new world will open up to you. You’ll be able to find better employment, read to your children, and explore the riches of the gospel. While you can listen to the scriptures online, there is extra power in being able to read them for yourself, studying at your own pace and making notes of the scriptures that are most meaningful to you.

However, you needn’t wait until you can read to continue your missionary lessons. Reading is not a requirement for baptism. Work with your missionaries to find other ways to complete the assignments, but do take advantage of the program offered by the church.

Read the stories of others just like you who have learned to read using this program in "I Have Hope in the Future for Me.”

One of the many wonderful changes you may be making as a new member of the church is in the media you choose for yourself. Sometimes, just at first, this doesn’t seem so wonderful. You’ve had years of listening to certain types of music and watching certain types of movies and television programs. Now you’re being asked to evaluate those and decide which are worth keeping in your life. Do you know why you’re asked to do this?

“To me, it is impossible to maintain the Spirit of the Lord while listening to music or watching movies or videos that celebrate evil thoughts and use vulgar language.” (M. Russell Ballard, Ensign, Nov. 1997, 39)

This is the most important reason to avoid inappropriate media. You will lose the gift of the Holy Ghost you’ve just worked so hard to gain. The Spirit can’t be in the presence of sin, and so it departs, leaving you to cope with life alone. Now that you’ve felt the spirit, do you really want to lose it?

It’s Satan who promotes the use of inappropriate movies, music, video games, internet usage, and other types of media. Heavenly Father asks us to stay with that which will keep our minds and hearts pure. Which side do you want to be on? Every time you choose to participate in media that is inappropriate, even if it’s only “a little” inappropriate, you choose Satan’s team, and that’s not the winning team.

Every choice you make has consequences and affects your eternal progression. You can’t put eternal progression on pause while you experiment with the evil side of the world. You’re either moving toward Heaven or away from it. You’re never standing still. The smallest amount of inappropriateness sends you backwards, like those children’s board games that often send you backwards on the board, making it harder to reach the finish line.

The Thirteenth Article of Faith is our guideline for what we should bring into our lives:

“We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul— We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.”

When you’re choosing a movie to watch or music to listen to, test them against these words. Imagine watching or listening in the presence of the Savior. Would you feel uneasy? Then don’t do it. If you find yourself in a situation where your friends are doing something that makes you uneasy, find the courage to ask them to stop. If they don’t—and often they won’t--be ready to walk away. Ask your parents to come for you if you need transportation. Parents are generally happy to rescue you from an immoral or dangerous situation, and will be proud of your choice. It’s not easy to walk away, but even when you’re taunted, you survive. I did, even though at the time I was sure I’d die on the spot.

Use the internet in a room full of family. Check reviews before watching a movie. Really listen to the words of your music. In addition, evaluate the mood of the music. How do you feel when you listen? Does it make you feel something inappropriate inside—angry, perhaps? If so, the spirit won’t be in the room, so don’t just turn it off. If it’s yours, throw it away.

It can take time to learn to enjoy new types of music, books, and videos, but it’s more than worth the effort. God is counting on you.

A new convert once asked if it was okay to continue some of the religious practices she had enjoyed in her previous religion. They didn’t conflict in any way with our own doctrines or practices; they were simply a comfort and a tradition, particularly those related to holidays. She was assured that if those things helped her to feel closer to God, they were okay to do. We tend to do things in a simple way, and it can be a challenge for new converts to adapt quickly to that.

President Hinckley, the previous president of the church, said, “Let me say that we appreciate the truth in all churches and the good which they do. We say to the people, in effect, you bring with you all the good that you have, and then let us see if we can add to it.” (meeting, Nairobi, Kenya, 17 Feb. 1998).

You came to your new religion with a great deal of truth and goodness already tucked away inside of you. You were already making some good choices and had probably developed some routines, traditions, and habits that made it easier for you to do the right things. You’re not asked to dispose of everything you did in the past to take on a new way of life completely. Some things will change, but those things that are in harmony with the gospel are yours to keep. They will help you make your transition easier. If a lit candle makes it easier to pray, light it. In time, you may find you no longer need it, but while you do, no one is going to consider you weak or incorrect. If you previously put your hands together or in the air as you prayed, feel free to do that. Folding our arms is how we pray in church, but at home, do it the way that makes it easiest for you to feel the spirit. There is time in the future to feel at home with your arms folded.

Some things Mormons do are traditional or cultural. Others are doctrinal. Over time you’ll learn which are which. Many people in the church today are happiest with a combination of traditions. Some converts from the Jewish faith continue to celebrate Jewish holidays, often inviting their new church friends to join them and to learn about their Old Testament past. Jesus himself celebrated the Passover and had Seder dinners. There is no reason you can’t have them now if you had them in the past.

As you learn what parts of your old life are appropriate for your new life, you can combine them to make the gospel personal and just right for you.

My mother died today, early Easter morning. As I sit here reading over the Easter lesson I had intended to teach today, I realize more than ever how personal the Savior’s gift to us is.

I’m sad and crying, naturally. But it’s tears for me, not my mother. Today, especially I know that my mother is home again. She and my father, who died in 2001, weren’t members of the church, but they lived as if they were, which made it easier for me to join the church. I was already living much of the LDS life.

I know that I can do the work that needs to be done to give them the gospel now. That is reassuring and comforting in itself. There is something I can still do for my mother. Knowing that I can be with them again someday makes bearable what would otherwise be unbearable.

Jesus rose from the dead. People didn’t believe He would, even though he had promised to do so. Even His closest followers weren’t entirely sure. But then the appointed day came, and He was there, resurrected, just as He promised.

“Our Heavenly Father’s plan contains the ultimate expressions of true love. All that we hold dear, even our families, our friends, our joy, our knowledge, our testimonies would vanish were it not for our Father and His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Among the most cherished thoughts and writings in this world is the divine statement of truth: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

This precious Son, our Lord and Savior, atoned for our sins and the sins of all. That memorable night in Gethsemane His suffering was so great, His anguish so consuming that He pleaded, “Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”20 Later, on the cruel cross, He died that we might live, and live everlastingly. Resurrection morning was preceded by pain, by suffering, in accordance with the divine plan of God. Before Easter there had to be a cross. The world has witnessed no greater gift, nor has it known more lasting love.“ (Thomas S. Monson, “Treasured Gifts,” Ensign, Dec 2006, 4–10)

The gift of resurrection and all the blessings that follow as a result are among the greatest gifts men can receive. Many say to me it’s hard to lose your mother on Easter. But that too, was a blessing. What better way to make sure I won’t forget where she is spending Easter?

Before you were born, Heavenly Father gave you many gifts. One such gift is the light of Christ. When you’re baptized, you receive the gift of the Holy Ghost to be with you at all times when you’re living the gospel, but the light of Christ was with you long before that time and will be with you for all eternity. The light of Christ isn’t a personage, as the Holy Ghost is, but it’s a way for you to know the truth before you hear the full gospel.

At some point in time, most people become aware of this light, although they may not understand its source. Most people refer to it as their conscience. They begin to notice that when they do something wrong, something deep inside them tells them they’re making a bad choice. When they do the right thing, something feels wonderful inside them. The light of Christ helps to protect and guide people until they’ve heard the gospel, but they will have it with them always. It also keeps them accountable for their choices.

The light of Christ has another purpose as well. It tucks into our heart gospel truths, a knowledge of the Savior, and a remembrance of the truth we once knew. Many people who start to learn the gospel will say, “Oh, I always knew that. I just didn’t think anyone else believed it.” This was the case for me. Often, I would find odd little thoughts come into my mind, and long before I found the gospel I believed some things many people considered odd. It was the light of Christ that had reminded me of things I had forgotten.

As with the Holy Ghost, we can choose to ignore the light of Christ. We always have our agency. However, choosing to pay attention can make our lives wonderful and help us to make wise choices, and eventually, to choose the gospel for ourselves.

Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve, said,

“Every man, woman, and child of every nation, creed, or color—everyone, no matter where they live or what they believe or what they do—has within them the imperishable Light of Christ. In this respect, all men are created equally. The Light of Christ in everyone is a testimony that God is no respecter of persons (see D&C 1:35). He treats everyone equally in that endowment with the Light of Christ.

It is important for a teacher or a missionary or a parent to know that the Holy Ghost can work through the Light of Christ. A teacher of gospel truths is not planting something foreign or even new into an adult or a child. Rather, the missionary or teacher is making contact with the Spirit of Christ already there. The gospel will have a familiar “ring” to them. Then the teaching will come “to the convincing of [those who will listen] that Jesus is the Christ, the Eternal God, manifesting himself unto all nations” (Book of Mormon title page).” Boyd K. Packer, “The Light of Christ,” Ensign, Apr 2005, 8–14

Knowing the light of Christ is with you can be very reassuring for someone who has not yet made a choice to be baptized. You can be assured Heavenly Father has given you a way to learn the truth so you can make the right decision.

When my first child was a newborn, I decided it was time to become the perfect Mormon. I’d been a member of the church for six years now and felt I ought to be doing everything. While trying to care for an infant who had to be fed every hour around the clock, and learning to live far from my parents and in a new culture, I tried to do everything I had heard members ought to do, and to do it all at once. I learned to bake bread and never bought anything pre-made or convenient. I tried to keep a perfect home. I tried to do my genealogy and to take on numerous callings. If I heard about something in Relief Society, I went home and added it to my schedule. Within months, I was near collapse. Some kind people took it on themselves to explain to me about seasons.

There are seasons in everyone’s life, times when you focus on certain parts of the gospel more than others. That was my season to learn about parenting, and to get through the health challenges of my child. I was reassured it was not wrong to buy cookies or bread at the store, especially when I was so exhausted all the time. Genealogy could wait until things were more under control. I didn’t have to do everything every day.

That didn’t mean I could sin, of course. It just meant that not every aspect of the gospel has to be done every day. We’re taught to do our family history, but we don’t have to do it today if today there is a greater priority. We’re asked to serve in our community, but not if it will harm our families.

Dallin H. Oakes spoke of this in General Conference in October, 2008. He said, “As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best.” He recounted the story of Mary and Martha:

“Jesus taught this principle in the home of Martha. While she was "cumbered about much serving" (Luke 10:40), her sister, Mary, "sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word" (v. 39). When Martha complained that her sister had left her to serve alone, Jesus commended Martha for what she was doing (v. 41) but taught her that "one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her" (v. 42). It was praiseworthy for Martha to be "careful and troubled about many things" (v. 41), but learning the gospel from the Master Teacher was more "needful." The scriptures contain other teachings that some things are more blessed than others (see Acts 20:35; Alma 32:14–15).”-- Good, Better, Best, Elder Dallin H. Oaks Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Note that he did not say Martha should never clean house or cook, instead spending all her time studying the gospel. Nor did he say Mary should spend every moment studying the gospel, never cleaning. But at this particular moment, the Savior—the Savior!-was at their home and they had a precious opportunity to learn at his feet. At that particular moment, Mary had chosen best, and Martha had only chosen better. At another time, the homemaking would have been the best choice for the moment.

As a new member, don’t confuse culture with commandments. (Baking bread is culture; reading scriptures is a commandment.) There are many things to do, but you have time to do them. Keep the commandments and note all the other things we’re asked to do. Then prayerfully discover the proper season for doing each of those things.

As a new member, the ways you entertain yourself may need to change. For instance, the church does not accept gambling as an appropriate form of entertainment. This includes lotteries, even those sponsored by governments.

On LDS.org we read: “Gambling is motivated by a desire to get something for nothing. This desire is spiritually destructive. It leads participants away from the Savior's teachings of love and service and toward the selfishness of the adversary. It undermines the virtues of work and thrift and the desire to give honest effort in all we do.”

Part of God’s plan for our lives is that we should give something of value for all we receive. Gambling takes away the motivation to give something of value, because we can live on hope of becoming wealthy without any work. Few people actually do become wealthy, and so most are simply throwing their money away. Some will try to justify their expense because a government lottery gives the profits to something worthwhile. However, studies have shown there is surprisingly little profit as payouts become larger. We can do far more good by donating that money directly to a good cause, and do so without damaging our eternal lives.

Gambling can lead to addiction. Some people are able to gamble without becoming addicted, but some cannot. There is no way to know in advance which type of person you are, and so, each time you gamble, you place yourself at risk of addiction. It is so much easier to stop when you are not addicted—or to never start—than it is to fight an addiction that may have already hurt your family and your spiritual progress.

Gordon B. Hinckley, former president of the church, said,

“The pursuit of a game of chance may seem like harmless fun. But there attaches to it an intensity that actually shows on the faces of those who are playing. And in all too many cases this practice, which appears innocent, can lead to an actual addiction. The Church has been and is now opposed to this practice. If you have never been involved in poker games or other forms of gambling, don’t start. If you are involved, then quit now while you can do so.

There are better ways to spend one’s time. There are better pursuits to occupy one’s interest and energy. There is so much of wonderful reading available. We are not likely to ever get too much of it. There is music to be learned and enjoyed. There is just having a good time together—in dancing, in hiking, in cycling, or in other ways—boys and girls together enjoying one another’s company in a wholesome way.”-- Gordon B. Hinckley, “Gambling,” Ensign, May 2005, 58

If you find you’re unable to stop gambling, visit with your bishop for assistance in fighting your addiction. The gospel offers many tools to help you get on the proper path.

When you’re first learning about the Word of Wisdom, you will probably mostly hear about the don’ts: Don’t use alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea, or illegal drugs. However, the Word of Wisdom also has recommendations for those foods which are good for you.

D&C 89:10 And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbs God hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—

11 Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.

12 Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;

13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.

14 All grain is ordained for the use of man and of beasts, to be the staff of life, not only for man but for the beasts of the field, and the fowls of heaven, and all wild animals that run or creep on the earth;

15 And these hath God made for the use of man only in times of famine and excess of hunger.

16 All grain is good for the food of man; as also the fruit of the vine; that which yieldeth fruit, whether in the ground or above the ground—

17 Nevertheless, wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine, and for all beasts of the field, and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain.

It advises you to eat fruits and vegetables, herbs, meat sparingly, and grains, described as the staff of life. The Word of Wisdom does not require you to be a vegetarian, since Doctrine and Covenants 49:18-19 says:

And whoso forbiddeth to abstain from meats, that man should not eat the same, is not ordained of God;

For, behold, the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air, and that which cometh of the earth, is ordained for the use of man for food and for craiment, and that he might have in abundance.

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise, says an old nursery rhyme. God says this is actually quite true. Verse 88 tells us that going to bed early and getting up early are good for us. It promises that if we do this, we won’t be tired and our minds and bodies will be invigorated. We’re cautioned to avoid extremes and to have balance, so a diet of only grains, or only fruit, for example, would not be healthy. If we eat a balance of different types of food in moderation, we can enjoy the health God planned for us.

The Word of Wisdom does not promise we will never get sick. The very healthiest people can become ill. However, living the Word of Wisdom, both the do’s and the don’ts, can give us the best possible hope of living well.

The do’s in the Word of Wisdom seem fairly obvious to us today, but at the time of the revelation, they were not common practice. People lived largely on meat, and in some cases, fruits and vegetables were banned or recommended to eat in small quantities only. In recent years, a multitude of scientific studies have shown practicing Latter-day Saints to have fewer health problems than the general public. Clearly, this principle with a promise is inspired. Little of what it advocates was known in the 1800s. It has taken science a long time to catch up with what Latter-day Saints have known since the early days of the church.

How important did you consider education before you joined the church? As you begin to work towards an LDS-mindset to life, think about your education. The church encourages its youth, and in fact, all its members, to get as much education as possible, both formally, and through personal learning.

The responsibility for getting an education begins with you. While it’s easier to be well-educated if you were raised in a home that values it or if you’re a naturally good student, in the end, you’re the one who is affected, and so it’s your responsibility, regardless of what you’re learning about education at home or how good you are at school.

“Because of our sacred regard for each human intellect, we consider the obtaining of an education to be a religious responsibility. Yet opportunities and abilities differ. I believe that in the pursuit of education, individual desire is more influential than institution, and personal faith more forceful than faculty.

"Our Creator expects His children everywhere to educate themselves. He issued a commandment: “Seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith.” (D&C 88:118.) And He assures us that knowledge acquired here will be ours forever. (See D&C 130:18–19.)”-- Russell M. Nelson, “Where Is Wisdom?,” Ensign, Nov 1992, 6

This means that going to a bad school or having an uneducational home isn’t an excuse. We have to take responsibility for educating ourselves. If your school is poor, you can find ways to make the curriculum harder. I once took a class on current events. I love current events and didn’t realize it was a fluff class designed for people who aren’t going to graduate unless they pass a social studies class. When I learned that we’d be doing nothing but rewriting a newspaper article in our own words each day, I went to the teacher. I was unable to change classes, but we decided I could instead choose an important long-running current event, research it, analyze it, and write a paper on it. In this way, I was able to get a good education in that class, even though the class itself was silly. When I had teachers who were unwilling to work with me, I assigned myself research projects. I tried to read extra books on the subject and talk to people who knew more about it. I also studied subjects my school didn’t offer by visiting museums or talking with my parents. When I struggled, I sought help in prayer and from others.

Doing well in school, and learning on our own, are spiritual accomplishments, even when we’re learning history or math. God is the author of all good knowledge. Of course, we must not let our academic life destroy our spiritual one. It’s important to use the same prayerful judgment in deciding what to believe academically as we did in deciding what church to join. Spiritual learning is also a priority.

Have you, since beginning to learn about the church, visited a long-time member and stared in awe at her food storage? Does it seem impossible to you that you could reach that level of readiness? You needn’t build your entire food storage in a few days. You can gradually build it over time, buying a little extra each time you shop and storing it away. You can also save to make a few bulk purchases each year.

President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "We can begin ever so modestly. We can begin with one week's food supply and gradually build it to a month and then to three months. I am speaking now of food to cover basic needs. As all of you recognize, this counsel is not new. But I fear that so many feel that a long–term food supply is so far beyond their reach that they make no effort at all. Begin in a small way, my brethren, and gradually build toward a reasonable objective" He warned people not to panic, but simply to get started.

The church has a wonderful website that guides you through the process of building a beginning food storage. The Provident Living site offers lessons you can use to get your family interested in helping you with this project. It explains how long food can be kept and how much you need to survive. This won’t let you eat as you always do, but it will keep you alive and healthy.

The commandment to keep food storage isn’t a doomsday commandment. Most people who store food use it as a part of the surviving the challenges of everyday life. Unemployment is easier to survive if you have plenty of food and don’t have to shop. Illness or weather might make it hard to go to a store, but having food stored up can get you through a few difficult weeks. A local disaster, of course, makes food storage essential. Food storage also reduces the cost of feeding your family. Having all you need already on hand allows you to shop sales or a variety of stores, one each week, buying only that which is less expensive at that store. It also allows you to buy in bulk.

If you have a small home, you may have to be creative in your storage. Your new LDS friends won’t blink an eye if food storage is part of your décor. When we moved to a small cottage, I placed a large number of cartons under the edge of a counter facing the living room. If members even comment on it, they say, “Oh, that’s where you keep some of your food storage.” Non-members might ask, but that only opens up conversational opportunities. Search out odd corners and inconvenient closets, under the bed space, and even cartons-as-furniture to find a spot for all you want to store. Grow at least a little food, even if it’s in a flower pot, to provide living food storage.

Start small, and keep building, a little at a time. You’ll soon have your full supply.

I love Sacrament Meeting. I leave it each week feeling renewed and ready to go. No matter how bad the previous week was, I feel I can go home and do a great job with the life I’ve been given. I’ve always considered it the start of my work week, a starting-over day. As a new member, it took a great deal of experimenting to figure out how to make sure I got the most out of my meetings.

Preparation for this experience begins before I leave the house, however. In fact, it starts the day before. Children often sing in their meetings a song that tells them that Saturday is special because it’s the day to get ready for Sunday. They learn that they should do as much preparation for Sunday as possible on Saturday—cleaning, laying out and preparing clothing, and finishing up anything else that could be a distraction to the worshipful purpose of Sunday.

When the chores are done and the meals for Sunday are planned ahead, and perhaps at least partially prepared, I come to church with far fewer distractions on my mind. I don’t find myself wondering what we’ll eat when we get home if I have dinner in the slow cooker waiting for us. It’s easier to bring the spirit of church home with me if things are reasonably tidy and under control.

Study ahead for the classes you will attend and finish any work for your callings before you go to bed.

Keep Sunday mornings simple. Skip the big breakfast unless it is something you can prepare ahead. Have church bags packed, clothing set out and children scheduled, so they know what to do and when. If you find yourself consistently late, get everyone up a little earlier, testing until you can arrive on time without rushing. Try to find time to pray and read scriptures before you leave.

Setting the mood in the house can also help everyone to arrive with the spirit intact. I find it helpful to be the first one up, so I can have time to prepare my own spirit before trying to guide everyone else to a spiritual beginning. Putting on quiet, spiritual music can remind family members it’s a reverent day and set the tone.

Keep the drive to church peaceful. It’s not the time to scold or lecture, although, of course, gentle reminders about appropriate behavior are appropriate. Instead, choose a gospel topic to discuss as you go to church or play spiritual music.

Once at church, go to your seat early and listen to the prelude music. Read scriptures, contemplate the gospel or study the words of a hymn while you wait for the meeting to begin. By the time the service starts, you will be ready to feel the spirit.

Worshipping God is more than just going to church every Sunday. As you begin to build your new LDS life, you’ll want to begin to put more time into your life for true worship.

Attending church is certainly part of the worship process. However, it requires more than mere attendance. While attending, we need to keep our hearts and minds focused on the speakers and lessons, and maintain a feeling of reverence inside of us, regardless of what is happening around us.

In addition to worshipping in our meetings, we can also worship in our homes and personal lives. If we prepare carefully before praying, and take the time to think about what we want to discuss with our Father in Heaven, if our prayers are unrushed and thoughtful, our prayers become worship, not merely a ritual.

Our personal scripture study is also worship. If we hurry through them with an eye on the schedule, then scripture reading is merely a routine. If, however, we read carefully, taking time to ponder, our scripture reading becomes worship. We can take the time to apply what we read to our own lives, and also to reflect on the blessings our Heavenly Father has given us. Nearly every chapter of scripture contains reminders of His presence in our lives.

Each time we teach another person the gospel, we are worshipping our Father in Heaven. When we share what we know of Him, we’re showing Him how special He is to us, and how much we understand what He’s given us. After all, when we have something in our lives we treasure, we always want to share it with others we care about.

True worship is putting God first in our lives, remembering who He is, and why we love Him. It’s treating the life He gave us with respect, and making the best possible use of the time He’s given us. This means that service is a form of worship. We’re serving His children, with an attitude of joy, not burden, and this is a powerful way to worship Him.

All day long, we can keep thoughts of Him in our minds and a feeling of reverence in our hearts. We can be cheerful about our responsibilities, our service, and even our trials, understanding that they are all part of the plan to help us return home to our Heavenly Father again.

Worship isn’t just about Sundays. It’s all day, every day.

When I first began trying to live the gospel as a new convert, I found the commandment to keep the Sabbath Day holy a real challenge. I wasn’t really sure what was appropriate. All I could think of to do was to read scriptures, and as much as I loved doing that, I didn’t want to do it all day.

Since then, I’ve learned there are many ways to keep the Sabbath Day holy. I found it helpful, in the early days, to keep a list I could refer to. This kept me from wandering into an inappropriate activity simply because I couldn’t think of anything else to do. I also try to plan my Sabbath ahead to avoid temptation.

Sundays are ideal for more in-depth scripture study. Instead of just reading, consider keeping a scripture journal and recording what you’ve read for the week—not just the content, but your thoughts. It’s also a good time to prepare for the next week’s church classes by studying the assignments.

I often spend Sundays writing talks, even when I’m not giving one. I pick a topic, research it, and write a Sacrament Meeting talk on the subject. I find this helps me find out how well I understand the topic and to focus my thoughts on it. When I’m asked to speak in church, I go first to my files to see if I already have something on that topic.

The Sabbath is the perfect time to build meaningful relationships with your family through quiet conversation. It’s hard to find the time to talk during a hectic week, but a quiet Sabbath afternoon can provide the time to discuss family issues, hold a family council, or just talk. You can also use the time to visit those who are sick or alone, and to write letters to family, friends, and those who just need a cheerful reminder that someone is thinking of them.

President Spencer W. Kimball, a past president of the Church, said, “The Sabbath is a holy day in which to do worthy and holy things. Abstinence from work and recreation is important but insufficient. The Sabbath calls for constructive thoughts and acts, and if one merely lounges about doing nothing on the Sabbath, he is breaking it. To observe it, one will be on his knees in prayer, preparing lessons, studying the gospel, meditating, visiting the ill and distressed, sleeping, reading wholesome material, and attending all the meetings of that day to which he is expected. To fail to do these proper things is a transgression on the omission side.” (The Miracle of Forgiveness, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969, pp. 96–97.)

I was raised in the very feminist 1960s and 1970s. Joining the church as a teenager caused me to spend a great deal of time rethinking the meaning of womanhood. My mother was a very traditional woman, but had raised me to be a “feminist,” thinking it would better help me fit into the world she saw emerging. Now, I found myself encouraged to model my life after my mother’s instead. This was quite a leap for me, but over time, I came to value what the church taught me about womanhood and what my own mother had shown me by the way she lived her life.

I realized that thinking of the traditional woman’s role as less important than that of the man’s meant I was demeaning the importance of family, and of the children I would someday have. Over time, as I came to value taking care of my children, I came to see it as more important than any other task I could have. It gave me a way to make a difference in the world greater than any I could have had from a more traditional career, even greater than the difference I try to make now as a professional writer. It’s more personal and intense.

I soon learned that the church gave me the opportunities to develop the kinds of skills I might have developed in the outside world. I was always shy and quiet, but I was regularly given leadership opportunities, and while I had always considered myself a follower, I learned to lead. I learned to do this in a safer, more supportive environment than the world would have provided, if anyone had ever even thought to give a shy, quiet woman a position of authority. I received training as a teacher, which had been my chosen career from the start, and have taught almost consistently since I was seventeen years old and even trained others to be teachers.

I improved my public speaking skills as I taught and as I gave talks at church. When my children grew up and I returned to my writing career, I put this training to good use when I was invited to speak or give radio interviews. The skills I’ve learned at church have often been solid job skills I could put to use in a career should I have needed one.

But the most important training I received by learning to be a Latter-day Saint woman was to value my place in the home. Raising children was the most important thing I did. When I count what I loved most, it isn’t having a book published; it was teaching my children to read a book written by someone else. It wasn’t speaking at a conference; it was talking to my children about things that mattered to me. I remember best the picnics, the silly games, the hours of playing dolls, the thousands of stories read and told. I can’t think of anything else I could have done with my life that would have given me more satisfaction than this.

Long before I had children I understood the woman’s role to be important. My children are grown now, but I am still working to fulfill my role as a Latter-day Saint woman. The role might have changed, and includes some income-producing work now, but it is still as a woman that I do these things, still trying to put my home and family first. At church, I happily fill those assignments given to the women, some of which are open only to women. The calling (volunteer church job) I currently have is one I love, and a man can’t be called to do it. If I weren’t a woman, I would never have the opportunity to be the ward (congregation) literacy leader, because it’s a job done through the women’s organization, the Relief Society.

In a talk given at Brigham Young University, M. Russell Ballard, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said,

“Elder James E. Talmage (1862–1933) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles stated that “the world’s greatest champion of woman and womanhood is Jesus the Christ” (Jesus the Christ, 3rd ed. [1916], 475). I believe that. The first time the Lord acknowledged Himself to be the Christ, it was to a Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well. He taught her about living water and proclaimed, simply, “I … am he” (John 4:26). And it was Martha to whom He proclaimed: “I am the resurrection, and the life. … And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die” (John 11:25–26).

Then, during His greatest agony as He hung on the cross, the Savior reached out to one person—His mother—when in that terrible but glorious moment He asked John the Beloved to care for her as though she were his own (see John 19:26–27).

Of this you may be certain: The Lord especially loves righteous women—women who are not only faithful but filled with faith, women who are optimistic and cheerful because they know who they are and where they are going, women who are striving to live and serve as women of God.

There are those who suggest that males are favored of the Lord because they are ordained to hold the priesthood. Anyone who believes this does not understand the great plan of happiness. The premortal and mortal natures of men and women were specified by God Himself, and it is simply not within His character to diminish the roles and responsibilities of any of His children.

As President Joseph Fielding Smith (1876–1972) explained, “The Lord offers to his daughters every spiritual gift and blessing that can be obtained by his sons” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1970, 59; or “Magnifying Our Callings in the Priesthood,” Improvement Era, June 1970, 66). All of us, men and women alike, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost and are entitled to personal revelation. We may all take upon us the Lord’s name, become sons and daughters of Christ, partake of the ordinances of the temple from which we emerge endowed with power, receive the fulness of the gospel, and achieve exaltation in the celestial kingdom. These spiritual blessings are available to men and women alike, according to their faithfulness and their effort to receive them.”-- M. Russell Ballard, “Women of Righteousness,” Ensign, Apr 2002, 66–73

As a new teen convert, you will want to pay close attention to the teachings found in For the Strength of Youth. This pamphlet, written for teenagers, helps LDS youth learn to live the life of a Latter-day Saint.

One of the teachings that may be new to you as a convert are those pertaining to showing respect for your body, which was a gift from your Heavenly Father.

Body piercing is discouraged except for medical reasons. Girls and women may, if they choose, wear one pair of modest earrings. Boys and men may not wear any. Piercing other parts of the body is discouraged. Tattooing is also not accepted.

President Hinckley, the previous prophet of the church, said,

“Did you ever think that your body is holy? You are a child of God. Your body is His creation. Would you disfigure that creation with portrayals of people, animals, and words painted into your skin?

"I promise you that the time will come, if you have tattoos, that you will regret your actions. They cannot be washed off. They are permanent. Only by an expensive and painful process can they be removed. If you are tattooed, then probably for the remainder of your life you will carry it with you. I believe the time will come when it will be an embarrassment to you. Avoid it. We, as your Brethren who love you, plead with you not to become so disrespectful of the body which the Lord has given you.

"May I mention earrings and rings placed in other parts of the body. These are not manly. They are not attractive. You young men look better without them, and I believe you will feel better without them. As for the young women, you do not need to drape rings up and down your ears. One modest pair of earrings is sufficient.” Gordon B. Hinckley, “A Prophet’s Counsel and Prayer for Youth,” Ensign, Jan 2001, 2

Heavenly Father gave us our bodies as an extraordinary gift. They house our spirits and allow us to do so many wonderful things. It’s important that we treat His gift with dignity and respect, taking care to leave it in good condition. The body He gave us is perfect just as it is. It doesn’t need further decoration—we certainly don’t want to leave the impression it wasn’t a good enough gift. Paul said, “Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Cor. 6:19–20).

If you already have tattoos, consider having them removed when you are older and can afford it. You will likely find you outgrow the pleasure for one and may find it embarrassing. They can impact your ability to get a job or find a spouse. Until then, if it can stay hidden away, you may want to do that whenever possible and don’t brag about it or show it off, lest you influence another to follow in your footsteps.

Treat your body as a temple, already perfect just as it was created, and worthy of respect.

“It’s my life and I can do what I want with it.” That’s a popular refrain among teenagers outside the church. As a new member of the church, you may already be aware that there is more to this story than that.

We have always had agency. The right to choose for ourselves is what brought us here to earth. When Heavenly Father presented his plan to us, it included the right to choose whether or not to follow it. Some chose not to and followed Satan instead. Those of us who are here made the correct choice. You've always had agency--you just understand it better now.

Now, here on earth, our agency continues. As a teenager, you have limits placed on your agency, in that you must obey laws, rules, parents, teachers, and leaders. However, within even the strictest guidelines, you have agency. For instance, you can choose your attitude toward the guidelines. You can even choose not to follow those rules and laws, but there are serious consequences for doing so.

And consequences are the part of agency much of the world chooses not to understand. While you can always choose what to do and how to feel about it, you cannot choose the consequences of your choices, and there are always consequences. Furthermore, you can’t choose who else is hurt by your choices. The consequences of your actions are entirely beyond your control, both good and bad.

When you make good choices, good consequences follow, in general. When you make bad choices, bad consequences generally follow. As a teenager, your decisions have a tremendous impact on your family and friends. When you get into trouble, your family will be hurt—and possibly even held accountable by the law. When you do something wonderful, they are proud and others look on them more favorably. If you choose to follow a bad path, you may lead a friend or younger sibling along with you, but when you chose to join the church, you drew attention to a wonderful eternal blessing. Others you love may follow in your footsteps someday.

The best time to use your newly understood agency is before you need it. Make all the important decisions now, when your emotions aren’t involved. Then plan a path that won’t lead you anywhere you haven’t chosen. Think through the choices, the consequences, and the actions needed, and then pray for confirmation. Right now is the time to decide you will marry in the temple, for instance. If you decide now, you’ll make the choices that will keep you from getting sidetracked. You’ll date only temple worthy people, guard your morality, and keep your testimony strong. It’s much easier to make this choice today than when you are facing a proposal from someone who can’t make your eternal dreams come true.

Dallin H. Oakes, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, gave this guideline for making the small, everyday choices you will make as a new member of the church: “Potentially destructive deviations often seem so small that some find it easy to justify ‘just this once.’ When that temptation arises—as it will—I urge you to ask yourself, ‘Where will it lead?’” Dallin H. Oaks, “Where Will It Lead?,” New Era, Aug 2007, 2–5

One of the things that might change when you join the church is how you date. Ask your leaders for a copy of “For the Strength of Youth,” a pamphlet that teaches LDS youth standards that will keep them safe as they work toward adulthood.

LDS teens are asked to avoid dating until they are sixteen years old. This might seem quite old to you, but it is a guideline for your own protection. There are strict limits to the type of relationship allowed prior to marriage, and the sooner you start to date, the faster you find yourself moving through the allowable limits. Starting to date at an older age, and then following the church’s instructions to date a variety of boys or girls rather than pairing off in the teenaged years, allows you to meet more people. As you get to know the opposite gender as friends, rather than as romantic interests, you will better understand them. You’ll be able to make objective decisions about the type of person you want to marry in the future. Double-dating or informal group dating helps to avoid temptations and to keep the relationship from becoming too serious.

It is wise to date only people who share your religion, and who are faithful members. While you may feel you are too young to worry about marriage, you don’t marry people you don’t date. You never know when you’ll unexpectedly find yourself attracted to someone who had previously just been a friend. Dating someone who cannot enter the temple when the time comes is very risky. Eternity is a very long time, and when you love someone enough to marry him or her, you will find your heart aching if you know that person might not be with you then.

Know the moral standards of the church and live them. In fact, raise the bar and live them higher than you need to. Don’t push the boundaries. Save your kisses for only the most special people you date. Don’t allow yourself to spend time alone or in situations that might encourage immorality, such as parties where kissing is the main form of entertainment.
Attend church with the teens you find yourself interested in, and participate together in church activities. Have these people into your home and go to theirs. Trust your parents’ instincts. While they might seem too old to understand, they have seen many situations that have played out in the long run. Over the years, they’ve learned that what seemed to be great in a date didn’t always turn out to be great in a relationship. Listen to what they have to say.

There is nothing in life’s rule book that says you have to date at all as a teenager. Many teens are happier hanging out in groups and having lots of friends. There are many years ahead for dating and relationships, but the teen years are wonderful for simple, uncomplicated friendships.

You’re probably already familiar with your ward, a local congregation, but you may be curious about stakes. A stake is a group of wards in one area, being made up of five to ten wards. Just as a ward is led by a bishop and two counselors, a stake is lead by a stake president and two counselors. They oversee the larger operation of the geographical area. The stake president is called by general authorities. He calls and trains the bishops, providing an unbroken priesthood authority. He advises the bishops and safeguards the standards and programs of the church, to be certain all wards are operating under church guidelines. The Lord has wisely built protections into his church, so no small group can wander off in its own directions.

Each ward auxiliary also has a corresponding stake organization. The Stake Primary presidency, for instance, watches over the ward Primary, providing larger scale activities, such as a day for young girls to meet together once a year with all the other girls their own age within the stake. They also provide training and counseling to the ward leaders of the organization.

One building in each stake is designated as the stake center. The stake presidency has its offices there. It’s generally a bit larger than regular chapels and often has a family history center located in it.

Once a month, a representative of the stake high council, a group of twelve priesthood holders who serve under the stake president, will speak in your ward on a topic chosen by the stake leaders. Each of these leaders is also assigned a ward to watch over. He attends their ward often and gets to know the leaders, serving as an advisor in making sure the programs are properly administered and that the leaders have someone they can turn to for help and advice.

In addition, stake conferences are held regularly, where all members of the stake gather together for special services. These services often address larger issues stake-wide, topics the stake would like to bring to the attention of the wards. For instance, a stake presidency might decide to focus on missionary work, so they would choose that as the theme for the conference and provide encouragement and guidance in that topic. Generally there will be an adult session of conference on Saturday night, and then a two hour general session for all members on Sunday morning.

When you’re ready to receive your temple recommend, a member of the high council will interview you, in addition to the bishop. This provides an additional level of security, in seeing that the temple is attended only by those who are worthy.